A Guy Walks Into a Bar and Sings, “Let’s Chill (without the Netflix)”

Dear Netflix,

I’m on a fixed income, which is now broken–because of the recent heatwave, which necessitated a level of air conditioner usage that was unprecedented. My A.C. was Active Constantly; this tremendously increased my electric bill. As a result, I have to cancel some amenities (such as Netflix) in order to absorb this unexpected and exorbitant expense.

I enjoyed our time together, but now I have to let you go; if it’s meant to be, you’ll come back to me.

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